AXL ROSE - RISES

Werner Harder (Van), a visiting Canadian Artist from Winnipeg, was disappointed when the Calgary Open-Mic venue was closed and couldn’t present his work. WebStamp offered to publish it, giving Calgarians an opportunity to enjoy his writings.

AXL ROSE - RISES

(HUMOR is A (?) FUNNY (?) thing ... and mine - is BROKEN.)

There came a day of reckoning, for Canadian Hippity Hop POP star, (wanna-be-RAPPER) ... Justin Bieber, when he and his security team had been on a Re/con ... reconnoitering, 'scoping chicks, in La La, Las Vegas ... and Justin heard - AXL ROSE was staying, at Caesar's Palace, and playing - in the Casino.

So, 'the Biebs' had hustled his squeaky little leather clad bottom to one of the top-spots on the Vegas Strip, to try to stop and have a go, at Axl Rose, and maybe just - talk to him, "man to man", ya that was what he said to his security head, "I'll escalate my plan to take over American music, man! We'll just hang out here - in the Caesar's round-about until Axl comes out".

AXL ROSE leaves the dark, of the Casino and makes his exit, to enter, into the burning sunlight of the desert, and full-blown media heat. Helicopters, satellite news trucks, TV cameras, and reporters circling in a circuitous curious circus, gathered 'round AXL ROSE and Justin Bieber with only the thin denim and leather line of Bieber's security separating the two media icons. While Police and the TV cameras hold back the locals, who've gotten all vocal and taken to cheering and chanting for Axl - shouting - "USA - USA - USA".

(Never thought I'd say that on stage!) YOW! 'BIEBS' tries to ignore the anti-Canuck BUZZ and approaches Axl to say (while still at some distance), 'ROCK STAR'. BUT - with all the noise and FUSS, what Axl thinks he hears is 'WOCK star'. So Axl thinks, 'What the hell is this? Vanilla Ice-Lite? A Rapper with a LISP?' And he shouts; "Say what, Boy-Bitch, are you SASSIN' me? You witless, want-to-be-Rock Star - POP star PUNK, you're talking like I've already beaten you PUNCH DRUNK".Now unknown to Bieber his security team has gotten Star Struck at Axl's appearance and so it was that no one steps up to stop AXL when he strides right through them,

Now Caesar's Security didn't like 'the' Bieber tying up the parking what with all the chicks, chikas, schicksas and media filling up the roadway, so when pigeon-chested, bare breasted Justin said, he refused to leave until Axl would arrive, then Security took it upon themselves to approach the TV cameras - LIVE! - and the head of Security made a very Public Plea, for AXL to come out of Caesar's and deal with this foreigner POP Star, and posted it with images of a posturing Bieber FLEXING SEXY, which were broadcast

- Inside, where Axl was found, playing the HOUND ... being a BIG DOG sitting with some chatty, CATTY little girl kittens in the Caesar's Sports Bar, when he got the alarm and his face turned all DARK, as everywhere he looked on every big screen TV, all he could see was some - Canadian - Harlequin - Romance - Hall Mark - Greeting card - spewing - wanna-be ghetto - POP star PUNK calling - HIM (!) - out from the cool of the AC and in to the High Noon summer time street.

Now AXL ROSE - RISES, takes off his leather and denim jackets then tears off his T-shirt and when he tosses his gear down, the gang of catty girls falls to the ground and takes to fighting over it. Axl smiles, says to himself 'I still got it' as he looks to the chicks, then he stands tall, stretching, reaching to the ceiling and GROWLS - raging like a red-maned Viking, he stands 6 foot 4 inches tall, and ready to BRAWL ... and like Bieber ... he is shirtless. But this man is HARD as a closed fist and ripped like a wall made of BRICK.

to take a stand in front of Justin and SHOUTS; "Fists High - HANDS UP PUNK'". But faux-gangster Justin is more than shirtless, he's spit-less, mouth dry, and scared shitless.

As Axl starts down with a rain of flat hammer fists, to the top of Bieber's head 'til Justin's knees BUCKLE. And before he can squeak or shriek 'UNCLE' - AXL - picks up on the pounding-beat-down, now dropping his fist-clenched knuckles on Justin's crown and says, "this one's for your namesake – TRUDEAU that PINKO.

POW!  Now 'the BIEBER' - FALLS - PUNCHED OUT - beaten to the pavement. Then Axl turns around to hear and see the cheering crowd, the 'copters, cameras, and all the proud salutin' misty eyed American Coppers who were getting off on watching the Canadian White Bread Boy Wonder getting beaten.

Then Axl looks back to see Justin's head of security approach him to say, "Hey man, can I have your autograph Mister - Rose?!" Where upon Axl kicks Justin's motionless form, and steps over him to say, "Sure man, I'm always there for the fans".

After the John-Henry, Axl departs hollering: and BIBBER, if you ever come to and want a ROUND 2 ... how about WRESTLEMANIA on PAY PER VIEW? ... DING DING! JUSTIN gets his bell RUNG! … (again!).